To An Amy Schumer Hater

This was my response on social media to an article written by a ‘man’ who wrote “Amy Schumer…never seems to shut up about body image.’ I hope you like it.

veggiechel

Dear Paul Boise:
Perhaps the reason Amy Schumer 'never seems to shut up about body- image, ' as you so elegantly put it, is because, as Tina Fey puts it, "Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits." But wait, Paul. There's more! Have you ever heard of Sonya Renee Taylor, Roxanne Gay, Jes Baker, Megan Jayne Crabbe, Alph and Syl Ko, or Tarana Burke? They are just some of the other women who WON'T SHUT UP about body- positivity. I THINK it might be because women have been told by a society run by patriarchal aholes since the dawn of the herding culture that started 10,000 years ago that their bodies, voices, and ideas are WRONG. That they must change something in some way about their bodies to be deemed 'valuable' by said patriarchs.
And maybe, Paul, the fact that women are told at every turn today; right now-- every time they open their phones, walk down the street, look at a magazine, watch television, go to a movie, or drive by a billboard, to name but a few examples--- that their bodies need to change in some way if they are to be pleasing to the racist, sexist patriarch, maybe, Paul, that's why Amy and many other nasty women WON'T SHUT UP about body- image.
And maybe, Paul, YOU should SHUT THE FCK UP and read something other than Maxim before you write another 'insightful' article about a subject you only seem to understand through the lens of subjectivity.
Love,
Michelle Schaefer, and Women Everywhere